The Making of a Shaman

<< The Young Lad

1960 The Student

The student was at the Melbourne Cricket Ground. Having finished secondary school, he was now at first year of teacher’s college. He entered at the age of 16, being within the age limit by only four days. He was the youngest student in the college, and a little overwhelmed by the citywise students who were three, four or more years older than him.

Somewhat socially shy, he held himself slightly aloof, trying to hide his enthusiastic rural innocence quite ineffectively.

His spiritual upbringing had been intensely religious. His parents had been Open Brethren, who in moving towns had moved to the Baptist Church where his mother was organist and his father was church deacon, secretary, Sunday School teacher and lay preacher who conducted a religious radio program called "The Way of Life”.

Growing up in that family had been a continual challenge. His normal boyish exhuberance and childhood pranks were considered expressions of a deep wickedness in him, and his equilibrium had been upset by consistent threats of being sent to the boy’s home. At eight years of age he was sent off into the night with his clothes packed up in a suitcase, tearfully arriving on a nearby neighbourhood doorstep, and chokingly explaining that "his mother no longer wanted him as a son, and could he stay there overnight until something happened”.

A later exclusion from the family, where he had to address his mother as "Mrs …” and sleep in the outside woodshed set the stage for a deep internal insecurity as he approached adolescence.

So much of life was sin. Especially fun. Lipstick was the work of the devil. Nylon stockings, gambling, cards, dancing, booze and films were all sinful and sin would lead on death to everlasting hellfire. Sex was the greatest sin. It was not even mentioned. The family’s attempt at sex education was his father thrusting a Christian tract, "What every Christian boy should know”, into his hands and closing the bedroom door while he read it. When his father asked "Any questions?”, he knew better than to break the family’s code of silence in this area.

Most neighbours were sinners—and Sunday meant no games, staying inside, Sunday School and church in the mornings, Christian Endeavour in the afternoons, Church again in the evenings.

Adolescence was a continual playing of one parent off against the other, gradually opening up to films, playing football on Sundays, and having a girlfriend where his feverish, raging, suppressed sexual desire struggled for contained expression.

And here he was at the Cricket Ground with 30,000 people and Billy Graham. Christian renewal crusades had been part of the family’s life. Pastor Nicholson, a hot gospeller who drove a Jaguar into town and set up a large circus type tent where he pulled in huge amounts of spirit energy with " turn or burn” sermons, was his introduction as a six year old to fiery spirit force that could heal, turn people’s lives around, bring visionary insight, tears, release, love and salvation. But always in the context of sin. Billy Graham was the star in that tradition. The carefully orchestrated music, the deep sonorous voice of George Beverly Shea, brought forth God’s Messenger, Billy, whose mission was to save souls for God.

"There was a woman who came to the Crusade, who accepted Christ as her saviour on that night and when she left, was killed by a car. Thank God she was saved that night. If you died tonight where would you go? Is your name written in blood in the Lambs’ book of life? Jesus is waiting to receive you back into the fold. Won’t you say yes to Jesus.”

The student had been saved before 13 years old at a Sunday School Mission. He had "given” his life to Christ, but this was something else.

The energy of spirit was moving in the crowd. The spiritual orator was orchestrating feeling and massive things began to move in the student’s body. It began to shake subtly, with a shiver in his legs, his belly started to churn, and deep emotions were moving. He tried to keep them under control but they kept growing, the shaking became stronger as the preacher’s voice became more strident and demanding. When the request/demand to give your life to Jesus, choose the light, let go of sin, came the extraordinary ball of fiery, emotional energy blew up into his heart, the choked back tears became a flood, love poured into and through him. Filled with energies he had never experienced before he sensed that this was "the Holy Spirit and he stood up, crying, shaking, trembling, confused, elated, wanting, healing, cleansing and walked down the aisle engulfed by spiritual energy, releasing him from the past, and opening his heart.

He was ushered into a room with a counsellor who spoke with the newly converted student. He enrolled in a 10 session correspondence course, tithed his money to the Church, listened to the weekly evangelical radio program, joined the Evangelical Union at Teacher’s College, went on Christian retreats and conventions.

He was a card carrying Christian, and he still harboured deep, deep sexual desire.